Dangerous Australian creatures

If travelling to Australia, you need to be aware that there are a great many beasts out there which want you dead. These are some of them...

• Box Jellyfish. One of the most loathsome creatures on Earth. If stung, the usual strategy is to suffer the most unbelievable pain, turn blue and die. Soon after this the pain will subside.
• Bluey (Bluebottle jellyfish aka Portuguese Man o' War)
• Taipan - my advice is to NOT get bitten by one of these
• Funnelweb spider- THE most insanely malicious arachnid in existence. If you see one, best thing to do is swim to New Zealand, watching out for..
• Shark - these have an annoying tendency to bite your head off, so be careful
• Paul Hogan - This fearsome critter relentlesly knaws at your sanity until you succomb. To be avoided at all costs.
• Salt-water Crocodile - these relics from the Jurassic era delight in appearing from nowhere and snatching people
• Stonefish - not to be trifled with. Let me put it this way, if you tread on one, you'll know about it. This is a seriously evil creature.
• Drop bear - these hateful creatures lurk in trees until unsuspecting tourists walk underneath, then they drop and .. oh, it's just too nasty, the claws, the blood...
• Kangaroo - best observed from a distance

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