• The One with the List

Costarring:
Michael McKean as Mr Rastatter
Lauren Tom as Julie

Rachel and Ross describe their kiss to Monica and Phoebe and Chandler and Joey respectively. Chandler has a new laptop computer. Ross is upset about Rachel's feelings for him, because he is happy with Julie now. Phoebe sings Two of Them Kissed Last Night. Monica has a job interview. The job involves creating recipes for Mockolate, a disgusting new chocolate substitute. Rachel is convinced that Ross will stay with Julie, and Ross doesn't know what to do, so Chandler suggests that he write a list comparing Rachel and Julie, using his new computer. He lists all that's bad about Rachel, that they have little in common and that she's a bit spoilt. Julie's cons list is a bit shorter: she's not Rachel. Rachel and Phoebe try out Monica's Mockolate recipes. They don't like it. (Phoebe: "This is what evil must taste like".) Chandler's laptop won't print, and technical support seem more interested in Star Trek than in fixing the problem. Ross breaks up with Julie, and Rachel is ecstatic. Then she sees her name on Chandler's laptop, which chooses that moment to start printing. They try to tell her it's a short story by Chandler but she grabs the paper and reads ths list. She locks herself in her flat and Ross climbs the fire escape with her pro list. Rachel says she won't give him another chance because she can't cope with the person she loves thinking the same bad things about her as she does herself. Ross gets a song (U2's With Or Without You) played on the radio for Rachel but it does no good.
end credits: Mockolate has been withdrawn for safety reasons, but there's another product called Fistachios.
best bit "it's like I'm looking in a mirror"