Constantine (2005)

Hey, hey, Hollywood's decided to make a quasi-religious crapfest. How..... original.

The plot features Keanu Reeves as a travelling botox salesman. He's rightly worried about being sent to Hell for making Johnny Mnemonic. Tilda Swinton puts in a downright peculiar performance as some sort of asexual angel. I much preferred her naked in Young Adam.

121 minutes.

(no stars)

The Players:

Keanu 'Mr Botox' Reeves as some inconceivably poorly executed character
Rachel Weisz as Angela and Isabel Dodson
Shia LaBeouf as a pointless addition
Tilda Swinton as a complete screen disaster
Peter Stormare as some camp bloke

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written by Ed in March 2005